jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
