omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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