Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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