well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
