.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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