Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
