Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
