i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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