First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
soo... how was my night?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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