Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
