We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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