Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
