Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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