So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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