it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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