If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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