i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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