i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
