so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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