i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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