Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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