Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
