Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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