I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
