"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
