Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
