do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
