Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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