So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
