I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize