oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize