Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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