It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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