This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
