I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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