There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
