You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
