When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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