I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
