you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
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Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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