I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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