turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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