Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
