we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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