I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize