Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
