i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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