i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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