So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
