Acid is not a monday night drug
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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