What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
