I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
