Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We have so much sex to catch up on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
