It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
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i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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