I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
