for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
