we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
