I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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