Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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