you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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