absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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