it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
